5 Words That Changed My Marriage.

Earlier this year the diamond in my wedding ring fell out and was lost. Thank God my husband had my ring ensured. As we were going through the process of submitting an insurance claim for my lost diamond we just so happened to be contacted by Eharmony and asked to do an, “engagement-style photo shoot,” to tell our love story since we actually met on E-harmony. A few days before our photo shoot my new ring arrived. My husband got down on one knee again and put a beautiful token of love on my naked ringer finger. I mean seriously this chain of events seemed to be divinely orchestrated. God is merciful. He has a redemptive way of making lost things new and doing it right in the nick of time.

As my husband and I are celebrating 7 years of marriage this week- I thought this would be the perfect time to share some of the pictures from that photo shoot so keep reading till the end. E-harmony calls couples that meet online and get married, “success stories.” It’s not the fist time they’ve reached out to collaborate with us on a project. Their hope is that if they put marriages like ours on display it will attract more clients to their matchmaking services. That’s really what a Christian marriage is supposed to do- marriage is God’s symbol to the world of his intimate, loving and unbreakable relationship with His Church. A healthy Christian marriage is one of the strongest witnessing tools we have to share the love of Christ with a lost culture.

So how can we have, “success stories” when marriage seems so hard and when divorce and is so common. I can share what continues to transform my heart and my marriage. It’s love- no not just a feeling based on if my husband is making me happy this week or if the last nice thing he said gave me butterflies. No It’s the love that saved me and rescued me and forgave me when I didn’t deserve it. When I wasn’t making God happy he loved me and pursued me. One look at the cross and it’s clear- He gave all for me.  What wise counsel God’s word freely gives, “Love is patient, Love is kind It does not envy, it does not boast’ it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

So the 5 powerful words that changed my marriage come in verse 5,” love is not self-seeking.” I think the biggest enemy of two people becoming one in marriage is selfishness. And love,  real love that is will not nurse our selfish ways but confront them EVERY TIME- nudging us towards something much more powerful.  This love will cause us to ask for our spouses forgiveness when we want to keep arguing about how we’re right.  This love brings down unrealistic expectations and gives your spouse grace. This love actually creates safety and is hard to resist. It’s contagious. And I believe it’s the only way you make it to eternity together, happily. 

I am thankful for the gift God has given me in a husband who loves me deeply- one who choses me above all others,  provides for his family, is faithful to me and has won me over a million times more as I get  to watch the sheer beauty of him not just as my lover but the amazing father and hero to our sons that he is. Even with all that magic- we’re imperfect sinners- we’re different in many ways and at the end of the day- we’re prone to selfishness. We need God’s grace to love each other well. And as we die to selfishness and chose real love- a beautiful testament of the best love story ever lives on through us. Here’s more advice on HAVING A HAPPY MARRIAGE.